Combatting Anxiety

I hit my first big obstacle at about 27 weeks.  As she grew and crept up to crowd my lungs I was hit pretty hard with shortness of breath.  It mentally and quite literally took my breath away.  I had two panic attacks within about a week.  I’ve only had a few panic attacks in my entire life but having two so close together shook me to the core.  For a couple weeks I was almost paralyzed by the fear of having another attack.  I didn’t want to be alone, I was scared of everyday activities, and felt a constant uneasiness in my own mind/body.  The more anxiety I had about another anxiety attack the guiltier I felt about how my feelings might be affecting our little girl.  I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to handle the remaining 13 weeks and that every day I would feel awful and fearful.  It affected my appetite and my weight gain not only stalled but started dropping.  As the concern and guilt grew I decided it was time to be very open with my nurse practitioner who is also a family friend.  I felt my first signs of relief after I spoke my concerns out loud.  I was so thankful that she had also experienced anxiety attacks and helped me identify my triggers and gave me extremely practical advice about how to prevent my anxiety from spiraling out of control.  It is amazing how God places people the exact people you’ll need in your life.  I have thankfully avoided another attack since then and in the times when I felt my anxiety levels creep up I address it proactively and talk about it immediately if I need to.  I have learned a lot about myself throughout this and hope that I’m able to continue to grow and improve at handling anxiety.