On January 17th 2017 we were getting ready for
bed, early bedtime since at that point in my pregnancy I was feeling tired
constantly. I had taken a bath and settled
in for bed. In the last trimester we had
started playing ukulele/singing and reading stories to the baby to help her to
know our voices. That night Kyle read
Little One by Jo Weaver. It was a shower
gift from our friends Amy and Nelson and it’s a beautifully illustrated book
about a mama bear bringing her baby bear cub out of hibernation and teaching
the baby bear about the world. After he
finished the book I got out of bed to go to the bathroom one last time (man you
have to pee constantly in that last trimester) and during the 15 foot walk to
the bathroom my water broke. It was so
surreal going to get Kyle and explaining what I thought had happened. We looked at one another for a moment and
then decided to call the on-call nurse and ask them what to do next. After waiting about an hour for a call back
they finally called and told us to head to the hospital. We gave our parents a quick heads up that we
were going for an initial check and asked my parents to watch Divot for
us. The hospital is about 40 minutes
from our house and I remember sitting in the car trying to grasp the enormity
that my next car ride might be our drive home from the hospital with our baby
girl. We also thought it was likely they
send us home as a false alarm since I wasn’t experiencing any
contractions. We arrived at the hospital
and they took us back to the labor and delivery triage room at about 10 PM at
night. After a couple of minutes they
confirmed that my water had broken and that they would be admitted us to a
labor and delivery room. Things were
starting to get real! In the movies when
someone has their water break it seems like immediately they have a mad dash to
the hospital and shortly after they have a baby. In case you weren’t aware, movies are not
like real life. As we arrived to the hospital
I had my first very small contractions but my body seemed to be out of
alignment. My water breaking meant let’s
have this baby and my contractions were very slow and saying let’s take our
sweet time. We started Pitocin right
away and my contractions started to intensify.
I knew I wanted to have pain relief but waited until the next morning to
get my epidural. Thinking at that point
surely we’d be having this baby within the next few hours. I was wrong.
My contractions progressed so slowly even with the Pitocin and baby girl
made it clear she wasn’t in any rush to leave the warm and cozy womb. The hours stretched out and passed so
slowly. Since my water had broken they
could only check my dilation every 4-6 hours so we’d have huge chunks of time
between when we could get updates on progress.
The wait was grueling. We prayed,
we took brief naps, we watched HGTV, we fielded a tons of texts/calls asking
for updates, and we waited. Once you
start medication like Pitocin and the epidural you aren’t supposed to eat or
drink anything. Well by Wednesday
evening 24 hours into the process I was losing feeling in one of my legs, I was
thirsty, I was hungry, and I was so ready to be able to push and meet our
little girl. Since we had texted some
friends and family on Tuesday night when we went in the requests for updates
were endearing but made it even harder and more frustrating that things weren’t
happening faster. People wanted updates
and we didn’t have any definitive answers.
Kyle did such a wonderful job running interference on both our phones
and handling all the inquiries. The few
times the waiting was about to tip the scale and send me down an anxiety spiral
he held my hands and spoke to me calmly and helped me stay relaxed and focused. Finally on Thursday morning the 19th
after 35 hours or labor I was finally far enough dilated to start pushing. Since I’d had an epidural for so long I
didn’t feel much pain but it was also hard to push in the exact way they
described since I had very little feeling in my legs and pelvis. The midwives were so patient in timing the pushes
and rests and helping guide me through pushing.
I thought there would be a big divider and Kyle wouldn’t be able to see
anything but my arms and face but that wasn’t the case but he stayed so
composed and focused on helping me.
After 2 hours or pushing and resting they told me they needed to try the
vacuum and if it didn’t work then they would have to do a C-section. They had drawn up all the papers for us to
sign if it came to that. Dr. Allen came
in and looked at me and said I had 5 pushes left to get her out and to give the
5 best pushes of my life. After all
those hours of waiting and pushing I couldn’t bear the thought of having to
have a C-section so I pushed with all my might.
I pushed so hard I burst a couple blood vessels under my eyes but on the
last push with the help of the vacuum our baby girl entered the world. That was the most surreal and coolest
sensation I’ve ever felt. I was so
relieved and exhausted and exited and overwhelmed. We had done it. We were parents. When they handed her to me for the first time
the closest thing I can equate it to is when the Grinch had his heart grow
three sizes. It was like I immediately
felt my heart expand in inexplicable ways and even though I was holding her for
the first time I loved her with a greater depth than I had ever loved anything. I knew I’d spend the rest of my life loving
her in the best ways I could and that I’d do anything for her. My whole pregnancy I tried to imagine what
that moment would feel like but even my highest expectations were
superseded. Kyle took her with the
nurses to do her APGAR, measurements, and prints. It was at that moment I realized they had to
start stitches on both my tears, I’ve always been an overachiever but I managed
to tear in not one but two places. Even
with the pain meds those stitches were very painful. After that we got what they call the golden
hour together. I held her skin to skin
and nursed her for the first time thanks to the incredibly patient and helpful
lactation consultant. The 39 hours or
labor and delivery had exhausted us but we felt so content to finally meet our Gwendolyn!
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