Change

If you want to really test what you are made of try selling a house, buying a house, moving, and changing roles at work all within a month.  I had no intention adding a change at work on top of an already busy season in my life but an opportunity presented itself and I said yes.  In the midst of a tough first 5-6 weeks in the new role I think I forgot about the part where I said yes.  I felt overwhelmed and out of my depth and felt like this stress and anxiety just happened to me.  Admittedly it would have been career limiting to turn it down but I still (though extremely briefly) weighed the options and took a step through a new door.  When I get stressed I tend to look back at the door that just closed and romanticize the situation I just came from.  Suddenly everything about the old thing seems worn in and comfortable.  My memories of it assume a golden glow and the edges soften.  By comparison the new feels foreign and unwelcoming and each interaction is examined under a microscope.  During change time has a way of speeding up and slowing down simultaneously and the result is disorienting.  As with all things though once enough time passes (which varies completely by situation and person) things start to settle into a rhythm and then that rhythm starts to become more familiar.  As I continue to adjust I have found a few things that helped me greatly:

• Anchor Points – there are a few things in my life that keep me grounded.  For me it is my faith, my husband, my parents, and our adorable dog.  I can have the best day or the worst day and those things help me stay glued together when it feels like I’m coming apart at the seams.
  
• Humble/Hopeful – I found a company I love that their mantra is when things are going well stay humble and when things are tough stay hopeful.  It has really been resonating with me.  You will have good days and you will have bad days and there is a place and a purpose for both in your life.  Bad days help you discover who you are and what you are made of.  Good days help reinforce the choices and people in your life.
  
• Silver Linings – there is always something to be thankful for in any situation.  I am been traveling a lot for work and it’s been hard, harder than I thought.  But I took one day last week as a chance to go see a beautiful waterfall in Seattle and another day I met someone in person who I had worked with for 5 years.  It did not take away my homesickness for my husband, dog, home, and my gym but the trip had values in other ways that I’m trying to appreciate in their own way.
  
• Let it Go – I never really had control and I’m never going to have control.  My intense focus on trying to feel in control is exhausting and fruitless.  I can control a small subset of things and I owe myself and my family to make the best choices I can in those areas but the amount of things I do not control is a much longer list.  I’m trying to buckle up and enjoy the ride more.