Our Arbor

By now those of you who actually read this know I’m a total sap!  When we got married Kyle asked his grandad to build the arbor we got married under.  I described something simple and he built something magnificent.  When he showed me the plans I was floored and honored and couldn’t wait to see it come to life.  The day I first saw it was just a couple months before the wedding and I smiled and shed a few happy tears and knowing one of Kyle’s strongest role models helped build such an important part of the ceremony where we would join our lives together.  All the feels!  The day of the ceremony the yellow wood was fresh and bright and the craftsmanship was extraordinary.  After the wedding we didn’t have a yard so we left our beautiful arbor at Norma and Evans’s house for safe keeping until we moved into our “grown up” house with a yard.  They often sat on it to enjoy their coffee and every time we visited them we sat on it and dreamed about our future.  Just as Kyle and I have aged a bit and settled into married life our arbor also shows some signs of weather and being lived in.  But I still think it’s just a beautiful if not more so than the day Evans first built it.

This year we made a big move to the suburbs.  We found a house we loved with a beautiful yard to make our own.  It took us a few months after getting settled but in October we enlisted the help of some wonderful friends to help us move the arbor to our own yard.  Some of the guys who helped were the same ones who stood by us on our wedding day.  When they finished and I saw our wedding arbor in our very own yard I definitely had a few happy tears.  Every time I look in our back yard and see it I smile and think of all the wonderful new memories we’ll build in this home and I am reminded of our beautiful wedding day where our journey as a family began.  

Chihuly Glass Garden

I decided to make the 20 minute drive from Bellevue to Seattle.  The biggest motivating factor was my fondness and obsession with Dale Chihuly’ s work.  Seattle is the home of his glass factory and he has a beautiful glass garden exhibit in the city.  The greenhouse with the installations and the view of the space needle was my favorite!  If you ever get the chance to visit Seattle it’s a definite must see for art lovers.  His art really does take your breath away and the way it transforms and changes in the light is pure magic. 

Trip to Charlotte for Katherine’s 30th Birthday

It’s been tough having friends move away since we don’t get to see them as much but we’ve had some great trips going to visit friends.  Katherine decided to have a backyard party for her 30^th complete with a bounce house.  Being an adult is seriously awesome sometimes!  We made the trip with our good friends Blair and Jenna.  Before the party we checked out a few great breweries and then the spent the evening acting like grown up kids and it was so much fun.  Seeing how happy Katherine makes Alex was icing on the cake, they are seriously adorable together.  

Landscaping Plan & Progress (Stage 1)

We were fortunate to get help from the mom of one of my good friends.  She just retired from the school system and is working towards starting her own landscape design consulting business.  We happily volunteered to be guinea pigs since we know very little about landscaping planning and had a totally blank slate in the backyard.  She came out and took measurements, pictures, and asked what types of plants we liked.  A couple weeks later she sent us a landscape plan and explained ways to plant everything in phases so we don’t get overwhelmed with the cost/maintenance all at once. 

Here is the plan which we’ll put in place over the next couple of years.  I’m in love with the climbing roses along the fence line.  So of course I had to plant those right away!  We’ll put in the trellises in the spring so they can start climbing.  I can’t wait until a few years from now when they have filled out and we’ll have our own personal secret garden in our backyard.  Roses require a decent amount of maintenance but I think it will be a labor of love for me.  The other items we put in this fall are very low maintenance.  We decided to start with the camellias, rhododendrons, burford holly, and the ornamental grass.  In the spring we’ll plant the ferns, hydrangeas, and knockout roses.  

Complicated

Our lives changed forever 10 years ago.  My feelings every year on the anniversary of the accident are complicated.  The way my emotions rise and fall as I read the social media posts.  Some posts are nostalgic, some are still heavily laced with sadness, and others are simply commemorative.  The way those posts stir up old feelings and bring tears to my eyes so easily.  It’s complicated because those tears surprise me since I so often feel like I’ve found peace about it.  I suppose there are some things we never heal all the way from.  Perhaps the depth of our pain is because of the depth of the love we all felt for the person we lost.  It is a lot longer between waves of sadness now.  My thoughts of him are more often fond memories and funny stories and simply wishing he was still present for moments in our lives. 

Loss leaves a hole in us, some days it feels like a tear and other days it feels like a frame to view our memories through.  A reminder that our lives are tied to the people we love in ways that extend beyond the time we have together.    

Clendenin Scholars Dinner

I am so proud of Kyle!  It was such a lovely evening and I truly enjoyed meeting the other previous and current Clendenin Scholars.  It took place in the art gallery on campus which is very beautiful and had some very impressive pieces on display.  My heart swelled with pride when they announced Kyle’s name and presented him his lamp of learning.  He continues to inspire me with his academic pursuits and I’m excited to see his journey continue to unfold.  

Rainbow Pilates

Moving and settling into a new place is also hard even if you have lived there in the past.  One of the things that made the transition easier was finding Rainbow Pilates.  Working out has always been a big part of my life, I sit so much at my job that I have to stay active outside of work.  It helps tremendously with my stress level and re-energizes me.  I searched on google and asked for recommendations and my mom mentioned Rainbow Pilates.  I looked at the website and was thrilled to see that they offered Barre, Yoga, and Pilates.  I tried several different classes my first week and I was hooked.  Everyone was so friendly and it really helped me feel more at home in the suburbs.  Plus I feel myself getting stronger after every class.  The owner of the gym Sonya has really created a special place and I’m so glad I found it!

High School Camp

I was so excited that I able to chaperon the youth group trip again this year.  It felt so odd last year not being able to go down to Florida with them.  God always shows up in big ways at camp and strengthens relationships in ways that would take months to achieve on Sunday nights back at home.  We had always gone to BigStuf in the past but decided to make a change and go to High School Camp.  It is run by the same group but is for high schoolers only instead of combined with middle school students.  I had a wonderful group of senior girls in my room and truly enjoyed seeing them wrestle with the topics and the things going on in their lives.  It is so valuable to have that time in the room and in between sessions on the beach to bond and develop meaningful relationships.  I always enjoy seeing their commitment to pursue their faith and I always feel re-energized in my own faith after spending a week away from distractions and being fully focused on my faith and serving the students.    

Housewarming

I was a bit nervous before our housewarming party that our friends wouldn’t be willing to make the longer drive out to our new house.  Thankfully my anxiousness was frivolous (as it often is) and we had really nice turnout for our combined housewarming/birthday party for Kyle.  I have always felt that it is not the space itself that makes a home but filling it with memories and the people you love that makes a place feel like your own.  This was certainly the case for me.  Seeing our friends and family in our new home made it really begin to feel like it was ours on a deeper and more meaningful level.  Everyone had such nice things to say about the house which was really nice since it’s my first decorating a more traditional home.  My dad was a wonderful help and manned the grill for the afternoon which is a pretty grueling task in June in Georgia.  We played outdoor games (the perks of a yard) and ended the night with bonfire to break in our new fire pit.  The food was good but the company was exceptional.  This was the first of many events to come!

ABG Lights Exhibit – Bruce Munro/7th Anniversary

We celebrated our 7^th wedding anniversary this summer!  Gosh time flies, in some ways it is hard to remember back to before we were married but it also doesn’t seem possible that it has already been 7 years.  We have a tradition of eating dinner at TWO Urban Licks which was incredible again this year as always.  It continues to be one of my all-time favorite spots to eat in Atlanta. 

After dinner we headed to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens to check out the Bruce Munro lights exhibit.  At first we walked around the sculpture installations and while beautiful left us a little disappointed.  Then we went down the canopy walk and saw the newly expanded section of the garden and understood immediately what all the fuss was about.  It was like a magical forest of lights that was living, breathing, and changing colors before our very eyes.  Think about the magic and joy in watching a firefly light up in the evening sky and multiple the effect times a couple hundred thousand.  The fiber optic lights were weaved along the ground in mesmerizing, chaotic, and organic patterns.  The fibers joined together in clusters in places and it reminded me of blood vessels or flying over cities as night with the lights flowing out from the center and into these standing bulbs.  It felt like a dream or a movie.  I was completely swept away by it.  It was made even more magical but walking hand in hand next to my favorite person.  At the end of the path we sat on a bench and talked and enjoyed being surrounded by the dancing lights.  I took some photos on my phone but these that were taken by my friend Matt Haynor are light years better so hopefully this helps capture some of the magic for you to see.  

Road/Sky Warrior - Crazy Travel Schedule

In a 6 week period from July 1st through mid-August I had traveled for 4 of 6 weeks.  It started with vacation beginning in 12 Mile and then went straight into chaperoning high school camp in Florida.   After that it was an intense travel schedule for work: Seattle for 4 days, home for just over a week, back to Seattle 4 days, home for a week, and then to Texas for a leadership summit.  This summer was me living out of a suitcase for the most part and gave me a new found appreciation for regular weeks at home with Kyle and Divot.  The drastic change in my travel schedule is definitely one of the areas I have been struggling to try and control.  Even my suitcase was asking for a break when the handle snapped in half on my way home from one of my Seattle trips.  Here are a few pictures from my summer work trips:

Lost My Voice

I have missed writing these posts, I got lost in the inertia of work and all the other things going on in our lives.  It’s been almost 3 months since I posted and that makes me sad and also reflects how out of sync I’ve felt.  I think amidst the stress and all the change I lost my way and lost my voice a bit.  I’m excited to recommit the time to maintaining this blog because it means a lot to me and I don’t want to forget all the things that are happening now.  

Change

If you want to really test what you are made of try selling a house, buying a house, moving, and changing roles at work all within a month.  I had no intention adding a change at work on top of an already busy season in my life but an opportunity presented itself and I said yes.  In the midst of a tough first 5-6 weeks in the new role I think I forgot about the part where I said yes.  I felt overwhelmed and out of my depth and felt like this stress and anxiety just happened to me.  Admittedly it would have been career limiting to turn it down but I still (though extremely briefly) weighed the options and took a step through a new door.  When I get stressed I tend to look back at the door that just closed and romanticize the situation I just came from.  Suddenly everything about the old thing seems worn in and comfortable.  My memories of it assume a golden glow and the edges soften.  By comparison the new feels foreign and unwelcoming and each interaction is examined under a microscope.  During change time has a way of speeding up and slowing down simultaneously and the result is disorienting.  As with all things though once enough time passes (which varies completely by situation and person) things start to settle into a rhythm and then that rhythm starts to become more familiar.  As I continue to adjust I have found a few things that helped me greatly:

• Anchor Points – there are a few things in my life that keep me grounded.  For me it is my faith, my husband, my parents, and our adorable dog.  I can have the best day or the worst day and those things help me stay glued together when it feels like I’m coming apart at the seams.
  
• Humble/Hopeful – I found a company I love that their mantra is when things are going well stay humble and when things are tough stay hopeful.  It has really been resonating with me.  You will have good days and you will have bad days and there is a place and a purpose for both in your life.  Bad days help you discover who you are and what you are made of.  Good days help reinforce the choices and people in your life.
  
• Silver Linings – there is always something to be thankful for in any situation.  I am been traveling a lot for work and it’s been hard, harder than I thought.  But I took one day last week as a chance to go see a beautiful waterfall in Seattle and another day I met someone in person who I had worked with for 5 years.  It did not take away my homesickness for my husband, dog, home, and my gym but the trip had values in other ways that I’m trying to appreciate in their own way.
  
• Let it Go – I never really had control and I’m never going to have control.  My intense focus on trying to feel in control is exhausting and fruitless.  I can control a small subset of things and I owe myself and my family to make the best choices I can in those areas but the amount of things I do not control is a much longer list.  I’m trying to buckle up and enjoy the ride more. 

Small Group (finally!)

I am so excited to say we are finally joining/starting an adult small group.  After 8 years of serving in the student ministry, leading small groups, and mentoring we are finally committing time to our own spiritual growth and community.  I could give a million excuses about how we didn’t have time before now and how busy we stay but truthfully we never felt like we had the right timing and group.  I am very hopeful and optimistic that this group will help fill a couple holes in our lives that have existed for a while.  We don’t have a lot of other Christian friends so sometimes the advice we get and the interactions we have doesn’t hold us accountable to our faith.  As we’ve grown older we can see how busy everyone is and we’ve seen that there are many times when family and your church family are the only people who consistently come through when you need them.  We haven’t invested enough in building adult relationships within our church family and we are so excited to make that more of a priority.  We met once already to talk about what we were all seeking out of the group and realistically what frequency we could meet.  The other couples have young kids (several of them each) so it makes scheduling and location challenging.  Christina, Andy, Joel, and Angel are all people I respect tremendously and I’m looking forward to everyone being able to be open and supportive about the real challenges we all face and help build one another up in our faith.  Our first official meeting is next Monday the 10^th!  

Comparison

“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt

I have witnessed this first hand in my life and the lives of my friends.  There will always be someone prettier, more talented, wealthier, in better shape, and with more potential.  The problem with comparison is we simplify ourselves into one attribute at a time and compare that single attribute to other people.  Through a difficult summer for myself and some of my friends I’m coming more to terms with the idea that we are all a unique and vast combination of attributes.  I have gifts and I have flaws, and so do the people I love.  All these things have taken shape and grown overtime into the fabric of who I am. 

I fear I will struggle with comparison for the rest of my life but I do keep trying to strive to appreciate the gifts and talents in others and to get better about seeing those things in myself as well.  I want to appreciate the little things more and feel content in the present moment more often.    

House Progress – Outdoors

Part 3 (final part I promise) – are you still with me?

Front Yard – 0%
Kyle's dad gave us an old hedge trimmer so I got to release some pent up stress by taming the large bush by our driveway.  I should of done a before and after that thing had developed a mind of its own.  We’d like to put in some lights for the path, probably solar but there is an outlet for the plug in ones if we decide to go that route.  We’ll also be adding a UGA garden flag to proudly declare our loyalty and alliance to red and black.

Back Yard – 10%
We finished our first big project of building our fire pit.  Now we need some more river pebbles to fill out the rest of the area and some chairs.  I found some plastic Adirondack chairs at Lowe's or Kroger that will be good for the short term although long term we'd like to upgrade to wicker or wood Adirondack chairs. Kyle dreams of a bocce court next to the fire pit area which sounds awesome to me.  We got bad news during the inspection about the deck so our plan for next summer is replacing it and building our dream deck complete with screen porch as well as some open deck space.  I want to add those light strands above it like you see at restaurants and all over Pinterest.  

(I can't wait for this gorgeous hydrangea bush to bloom!)

Garage – 0%

It is in major need of paint and storage solutions.  My dad is going to paint it for us as a housewarming gift.  The plans for storage include some shelving and installing some hanging tracks for storage on the walls.